Dear Fear,

You frequently remind me of how susceptible I am

to the lies and truths which you expertly mix,

to make me believe you care about my person.

 

You successfully tell me that I cannot succeed,

You attach my worth to my success,

and tell me I don’t belong unless I win,

the biggest, brightest, most prestigious award.

 

You take my dreams and make me salivate for their passing,

but you destroy my inner peace to reach them,

staining my hopeful, optimistic dreams with blood.

 

You are in love with my insecurities because they are fuel,

they give you power to remind me of my weaknesses,

and you delight when I build high walls of shame around them.

 

You steal my sleep, you steal my joy and in return,

you replace my honest smile with a fake one,

you make me believe I’m the only one that matters.

 

You cannot co-exist with gratefulness and humility,

so you entangle me with malignant thoughts,

thoughts of scarcity, pride, and arrogance.

 

You convince me that I am not worthy of love,

Or of another’s time and energy,

And I believe you.

 

You love when I give you the time of day,

you love when I believe everything you say,

you delight in crippling me.

 

You horrid thing; you care nothing about me,

how dare I let you deceive me.

 

This is my time to look you directly, intensely,

in your fiery yellow, evil eyes,

and tell you that,

you……

lose.

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Pieces

In wintertime, amnesia arrives,

she makes it easy to forget,

to forget that spring will come,

that new life is awaiting in dormancy,

that sunshine will return and coat us,

that humans care about each other.

 

In winter, I start to forget faces,

the faces I’ve loved,

eyes that are no longer looking into mine,

hugs that I can’t feel anymore,

voices that I can no longer remember,

and I curse mother amnesia, as I pray,

for returned memories,

a smile,

a piece of advice,

an exhortation,

a song,

a day spent together.

 

And then I remember,

in a moment’s brevity,

that they live within me, in my spirit.

My passions, my battles, my joys, my sorrows,

swirl in me, cultivated by their love.

That song which inspires so,

came from her,

That resilience which sustains long days,

came from him.

 

Pieces of them in me,

I live to honor their memories,

I stand on their shoulders,

their mistakes,

their successes,

their endurance.

 

And as spring greets me, I remember,

the pieces of them in me.


Who are you remembering this winter?

Do Not Be Fooled

Do not be fooled, oh no friend, do not.

Do not mistake my vulnerability for weakness,
or my pacifism for apathy.

Do not mistake my inclusiveness for waywardness,
or my faith for certainty.

Do not mistake my love for an agenda,
or my prayer for ritual.

For there is a hurricane in me,
a ferocity only quenched by equality.

When sweat for peace flows down, mingling,
with tears of joy at its long awaited arrival.

When diamonds no longer have blood covering them,
and balance replaces patriarchy,

When children no longer shoot AK-47s,
and women preach in pulpits.

For the day is coming when swords will become plows,
when the pen will break the gun,
and fear that feeds hate, will lose.

Do not be fooled, oh no my friend, do not.