You frequently remind me of how susceptible I am
to the lies and truths which you expertly mix,
to make me believe you care about my person.
You successfully tell me that I cannot succeed,
You attach my worth to my success,
and tell me I don’t belong unless I win,
the biggest, brightest, most prestigious award.
You take my dreams and make me salivate for their passing,
but you destroy my inner peace to reach them,
staining my hopeful, optimistic dreams with blood.
You are in love with my insecurities because they are fuel,
they give you power to remind me of my weaknesses,
and you delight when I build high walls of shame around them.
You steal my sleep, you steal my joy and in return,
you replace my honest smile with a fake one,
you make me believe I’m the only one that matters.
You cannot co-exist with gratefulness and humility,
so you entangle me with malignant thoughts,
thoughts of scarcity, pride, and arrogance.
You convince me that I am not worthy of love,
Or of another’s time and energy,
And I believe you.
You love when I give you the time of day,
you love when I believe everything you say,
you delight in crippling me.
You horrid thing; you care nothing about me,
how dare I let you deceive me.
This is my time to look you directly, intensely,
in your fiery yellow, evil eyes,
and tell you that,