Inevitably life comes in seasons. Much like the four seasons that greet us at the door each year, we journey through a sectioned life. Seasons in our lives change. Change perpetuates more change. It’s not all bad… because we need that change to grow. People enter and leave our lives for seasons. And sometimes that’s ok… and sometimes it hurts terribly.
So how do you endure… how do you persist?
First, knowing who you are is key. You have to understand your passions, your personality, your body and then sanction all of the above. Learning to be kind to yourself is a necessity. You have to know that when you are on your knees praying, your voice matters. You matter.
Next, it helps to understand the following helpful (rather painful) lesson. Some people who you have given your heart to and love deeply just can’t give that back to you. Maybe it’s because they don’t have it to give. Maybe they still don’t know who they are. Maybe they are just stretched too thin. Maybe they are fighting a bigger battle than you can compete with. Or maybe you just aren’t their person (Grey’s Anatomy reference). Here’s the thing: you can’t force that relationship… as much as you want it to happen, you have to let them go. As painful as it is, you have to release them.
You have to let them go so they can be. Let them be. And be kind to yourself, knowing you’ve just created more room for the right person for you. Or just room for you to breathe again and keep growing.
Often when you let something go, something that matters greatly, you get it back again. Maybe it’s time to let someone go.
And last, you focus on those people in your life who do not change with the seasons. The ones who will hold you in bed when you are exhausted and the ones who will sit down at the kitchen table after their busy day to hear about yours. The ones who let you double dip. The ones who plop down next to you while you cry or confess your deepest insecurities. The ones who you can call 24/7. The ones who look into your eyes, and without speaking, tell you they’ll love you forever.
The ones who would be crushed if you weren’t in their lives tomorrow.
So thank those people in your life today because it takes a lot of bravery to love you like that.
For an INFP like me, this lesson may be one of the hardest I ever have to learn. But the learning of it, is also the path to freedom and hopefully, on the other side of the cloud, the sun’s just waiting to shine.
Have you had to let people go? How do you show those who love you that you appreciate them?
How appropriate that you post this just before Halloween. As you know, I have a more Dia de los Muertos kind of perspective on the holiday. Day of the Dead is about facing death, not as a thing to be dreaded or feared, but as a part of life. Every time we say goodbye, every time we let something go, we are grieving a death. Be with your pain, be with those who love you. You'll be better for it.
I love your perspective on this, Kate! What you said about creating room for the right person is so true because in God's timing it will be perfect and in His will it will be right. But if we were to try to force something (even if we could)…it would turn out wrong & couldn't be His plan. You continually amaze me with your insightfulness & I'm sure that your blogs will help others along their way.
I really like your take on things. The idea that death is a part of life and not to fear change. If anything, we should fear living in fear. Life passes by when we are holding onto things that don't encourage and enhance who we are. I don't mean to sound callus, just honest. You know how much I appreciate your voice.
Always appreciate your perspective and comments. I think that forcing relationships is so different than fighting for one. But thank you.. that's why I'm writing… to hopefully help someone else along their journey. Maybe give a few traveling mercies along the way. Much love.